Chapter 13: Watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion

Every night at the barracks was an adventure. When you didn't have plans, you scoped out the barracks trying to find someone to do this something with you. One thing I learned about myself was that I had the need to be constantly entertained. I just could not stand to be home with out anything to do. Mainly because I was cheap and refused to buy cable and I could only watch A Few Good Men so many times.
I was like a lion trying to find my prey. Who could I find to entertain me? It didn't take much to entertain me though. There were times when a group of us would just go to the Goodwill and have a fashion show in the middle of the store. My roommate always won because she was so freaking cute. She was the cutest little Green M&M.
Me and my cute little M&M had a fascination with trying to be bartenders. We would go to the exchange, buy a bunch of liquor and concoct different shots for our guinea pigs. We had an array of different alcohol; Crown, Wild Turkey, Amaretto (because I am a chick, Man), vodka, gin and bourbon. Never did we think about buying anything to mix the liquor in with. Straight no chaser. My friend and I would just pick random liquors together and put them into shot glasses and handed them off to our victims.  Why these crazy fools drank them, I will never know. I think our infectious smiles made them do it. I think we cringed just watching them suffer through the shot. But they were pros. What went down, always stayed down.
Drinking games became the norm in our lives. We were not alcoholics, but we loved to see how bad we sucked at drinking games. The game of Quarters was the death of me. Drunk, sober, awake, asleep, I could never get that stupid quarter in the shot glass. Eventually, it got old so we had to find something else to do.
The gym. What better way to curb off boredom than to got to the gym. One night, I  decided to go to the gym for some aerobics. Going into those classes, I knew that I didn't have any type of coordination, but I thought it would be fun. I jogged up to the gym, stretched out like I had a clue as to what I was doing and then I grabbed my step. Within the first few minutes of the class, I was already out of step. I tried so hard to keep up with the group but then all of a sudden...BAM! I tripped over the box and fell right on my ass. I just stared at the ceiling. Wasn't sure what was bruised more; my ass or my pride. Oh, side note: There was also a group of Marines playing basketball on the other half of the court. First there was silence, then there was a huge burst of laughter. I wanted to crawl away in shame. I had military wives staring at me like I was a fool. Never again did I try step aerobics.
So, once I finally found the courage to leave the class, I decided to play my self in a friendly game of racquetball. So I have my little ball and I am slowly hitting the ball against the wall.  Then I started to get more aggressive with the ball. I was so proud of myself until someone tapped on the glass. I turned around to see who it was and then BAM! Damn ball hit me in the back of the head! I blacked out for a little bit and noticed that I couldn't see that well. Didn't occur to me that my glasses got knocked off my face. I looked up after I stopped seeing dots and realized the gym attendant was knocking on the glass to remind to wear goggles, along with the crowd of basketball players laughing so hard, they fell to their knees. If I had any pride left at that moment, it would have been a miracle.
As I walked home from the gym that night, I decided that anything that had to do with coordination just wasn't my thing. The gym and I were not friends for awhile, especially after work. So I decided to suck it up and be a good girl and give the gym another chance. The following morning I went to the gym and decided to run on the treadmill. I was exhausted from the night before (hey, falling on your ass takes a lot out of you), that I fell asleep while running on the treadmill. I actually flew off the treadmill. From that moment on, I decided the New River gym was just against me and it no longer would get my company while I was on my time. I was pretty lucky that no one I knew was at the gym for these tragic events. This is the first time I have ever retold this story of the gym. But now you all can laugh at me like every one did that night. Stupid coordination...


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