Chapter 24: Who lets go of the rope while fast roping?

As my time in paradise was passing, I sat in a hut all day, living off of Burger King (they didn't serve spam. They served Whoppers!!!) and waiting for something for me to do. Seriously,  a morning report only took so long to complete. I would periodically get up and walk around the area. Granted, it was Area X at Schofield Barracks (so scary sounding, huh?), so not much was going on. The Army guys that saw my pregnant self sans pants the previous day would give me an occasional thumbs-up when I would walk by them. That was what I looked forward to. The highlight of my day. Can we say desperate? Some Army guys giving me a thumbs-up because they saw me in my big, white briefs. Pigs, but I enjoyed it.
Then one day, out of the blue, an emergency occurred. I was so excited. I finally got to do something. The Company Gunnery Sergeant came to our hut and told us an event that one would never dream of: one the female reservists was fast roping and let go of the rope, shattering her ankle. Okay, this will sound bad but we laughed. Hard. Who lets go of the rope while fast roping? Then after we got our chuckles in, we felt pretty bad for her, but then we went back to laughing. This was the same female Marine who's hair was never in regulation and she whined all the damn time. I remember in Boot Camp our Drill Instructors warned us never to whine. She missed that class. I wanted to back slap her every time she spoke. This is the girl that would cry over a papercut, now imagine her with a shattered ankle. Oh, Dios Mio. The never-ending whining started and there was no way to shut it off. Muzzle anybody? So, yes, I did feel bad for her, but there was a small piece of me that wanted her reduced in rank for being stupid. Tsk, tsk.
The rest of the annual training went on without anything eventful happening. My three weeks in paradise was a total drag. Friends shouldn't let friends go to Hawaii pregnant. It equals a non-eventful experience. I was nothing more than the designated driver and personal bitch to the admin chief. But what else could I do? Prank call the guys who were in the rear back in Kansas City.  Hell yeah I did! Prank calling from Hawaii took mad skills. I would call the office and claim to be someone's spouse. I would make up some God-awful scenario and the fools back in Kansas City continued to fall for them. I did it at least three times a day and they never caught on that it was me. It's amazing what I would do for entertainment.
Alas, my time in Hawaii ended. We flew back on a ValueJet Aircraft and landed back in Kansas City. My punishment of a three week vacation with the reservists had ended. Then after their final muster, those turkeys came up to the Admin Shop to complain about their pay. Hello? I was there for three weeks and not one person every asked me an Admin question! Worthless. Simply worthless.
The trip wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. It was a good time because any moment shared with my Marine brothers and sisters, whether active duty or reservist,  is a wonderful time. But I was in need of some me time. Marine Corps family time ended.


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