Chapter 37: Harassment

Harassment. I used to think that you can't harass the willing. After serving in the man's world for 5 1/2 years, I can answer with a "hell yes" that I was harassed. Did I report it? Not unless it was necessary, which was only once. And it was one disgusting form of harassment.
One thing that I was known for in my squadron was that I refused to alter my uniform. If it was too big, I wore it big and if it was tight, I wore it tight. So let's just say, the guys loved it when I wore my Charlies. It wasn't purposely done...I just had better things to spend my hard-earned cash on....liquor! Did I hear comments about how tight my pants were? Yes. Did someone finally explain to me what camel toe was? You bet. But one thing is for sure, they were ALWAYS the correct length. No flood pants for me, just tight pants.
Anyway, I guess the tight Charlie pants attracted people to my um, J-Lo booty. It was nice getting compliments from the hot guys, but not so much from the nasty, crusty, old Staff Sergeants. There was something just a tad creepy knowing that someone of this "nature" was thinking about you. Like really creepy.
On the eve of my 20th birthday, I was heading out to the club with a couple of friends of mine. I had duty section that weekend, but being the big risk taker that I was, I decided to go out anyway. As soon we were walking out of my barracks door, my phone rang. I just stared at my friends, as if I just got busted. I let the call go to voicemail. A few minutes later, I listened to the message. Wouldn't you know it, the Staff Duty was calling me. I looked at my friends, and started to have a mini freak-out. I called him back.
"Hi, this LCpl Cox, did you just call me?"
At this point, I was freaking out.  I heard this old, weak voice on the other end.
"Yes, I did. I was looking at the Alpha Roster and  noticed this weekend was your birthday?"
"Yes, it's my birthday."
He started breathing heavier on the other line. "Well, I didn't know if you knew this or not, but I am a pretty lonely guy." Okay, this is getting weird.
"Um, isn't there a Marine on duty with you, SSgt?"
I had no idea what else to say.
"Well, yes, there is but, I was talking about outside of work. I am a very lonely man and I can't help myself. I imagine you wearing your Charlies, like you did today, and I must say, I am very much attracted to you." Whoa, who uses the Alpha Roster to pick up chicks?
At this point, I wasn't sure what to do.
He continued, "I was wondering if you would like to spend your birthday weekend with me. I will buy you anything that you want and you won't have to spend your birthday alone."
He kept rambling on while I was giving my friends the play-by-play.
"What do I tell him?"
Some friends I have. They busted out laughing. So bad, they were crying. Mental note : I need better friends.
With all the bearing that I had left in my body, they only answer I could come up with was, "But SSgt, that would be fraternization."
Saying that, my friends were beating the crap out of each other while laughing harder at me.
He then went on telling me about his fantasies that he had about me. Don't ask me why I never hung up. I think it was just the shock. It was like a 900-call (not that I have ever made one, I am just assuming). Disgusting. Utterly disgusting.
All of sudden, I noticed the Officer of the Day walking around the barracks. Saved by the Lieutenant!
I mentioned to the SSgt that the OOD was outside my door and wanted to talk to me. He hung up in a matter of seconds. I looked at my friends, shivered in disgust, and walked out the door. All I could imagine that whole night was him masturbating to my Charlie pants.
The following Monday, I mentioned it the Elmer Fudd in my office. He was like, "Yeah, that's kind of serious. We need to talk to the Major about it." Next thing I knew, everyone knew what happened. I was so embarrassed. So embarrassed that I actually spent my clothing allowance on a pair of properly fitting Charlie pants. I even had them professionally altered. From that day forward, I stayed away from the Tool Room because SSgt Tool was in there. Luckily, he retired a few months later. 
The lesson behind this story: Leave the camel toe in the desert, and not in your pants.


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